I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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