found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
