he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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