Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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