haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
