I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Randomize
