Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?

(216): View more from Ohio

... about that ...

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(970): View more from Colorado

Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives

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(931): View more from Tennessee

After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.

(1-931): View more from Tennessee

That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.

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(541): View more from Oregon

you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you

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(419): View more from Ohio

PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.

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(636): View more from Missouri

She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.

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