My friends, they love my intelligence
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
