I want to make a zoo with you.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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