brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
