I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
