you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
