so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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