How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it's great music for shaving your balls
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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