after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Dicks are not precious.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
