I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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