..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
