don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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