here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
