Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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