After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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