my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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