ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm getting married
To pizza
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
