all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
