are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
