why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
