wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
