I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
