'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize