I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
