I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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