i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
