i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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