Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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