yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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