Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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