Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
