I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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