My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
