You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
