Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
