Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
