Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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