Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
