He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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