he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
