How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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