whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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