He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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