I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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