My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
