so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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