But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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