Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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