do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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