Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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