Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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