its not stalking. its research.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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