Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
that's an acceptable place to lick
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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