this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
