Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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